I'm going to do something a little different today. This blog originally was to be about womens issues. I have strayed away from it for a little bit. I put some of my issues into the blog hoping to connect with a few of you. I am sure most woman out in the world just go along with their lives and not worry about their persoanl safety until its too late. The best of us can get caught. If we've never experienced it before we can become a target. I have taken the liberty to explain a few things about predators here.
Let's get started.
Do you have a significant other that is trying to keep you isolated? Has it been long periods of time in between seeing, talking to or visiting your friends and family? Has your significant other done something to give you pause, to scare you, or to make an unfair reference as to how things should be? That is according to his thinking and not yours? In your gut do you feel you are being treated unjustly? You might be living with a predator.
Things to look for when dealing with a predator things that you might never have known before:
There are many things to look for. Here are just a few.
1. Isolation: .Taking you far way from friends and family. Not allowing you to have any friends and discouraging potential friends from coming over, by his actions and disapproval of them.
2. Twisting everything into being your fault.
3. Yelling, intimidating you.
4. Verbal name calling. Not respecting you or your opinion.
5. Not fighting fair. Bringing up past actions as a point to hurt you and deflect from the real issues of an argument. Especially when the other person made the mistake.
There are many more. When these things come up and you see a big red flag telling you that things aren’t right with this person and you should leave. (This can be a women predator also.)
Trust in your instincts and leave. It is better to be alone than with someone who make you feel bad.
The best bet is to stay out of a situation that puts you at risk. But if the man that you thought turns out to be something other than what you want or need. (And only you can make that determination.) You can still help yourself. Become a survivor.
How to help yourself:
Always have money saved that the other doesn’t know about. Always have a backup plan. Take a womans Self defense class.
Cash your checks and keep a small portion. Put it away in a safe place. Bide your time until you get enough to leave with. (If he is taking all of your money.) all the better to leave., he is just keeping you for the money.
If the relationship is physical leave with nothing: Leave everything there. The belongings aren’t worth it. You are more important.
Leave at the first hit. Do not under and circumstances stay with anyone who verbally abuses you or physically hits you.
Utilize a phone book: The White Pages. In the first few pages there is resources information. Get a couple of numbers for local shelters and other centers that can help you incase of an emergency. Make a few calls and ask questions about what the programs are and how they help women.
Prepare a suitcase: Put the suitcase in the closet and tell him its old stuff that have value to you and you don’t want to throw them away. Keep some toiletries in it.
Put some money away: Every paycheck put some money away. $5.00 here $3.00 there in your own account. You would be surprise how quickly it adds up.
Make a plan and wait for an opening: No one can keep vigilant 24/7. Even the most vigilant will screw up sooner or later. Just be ready. The calmer and more accepting of the situation you are the more relaxed he will become and then when he is not looking you bolt.
Remember: Even if you are vigilant the unthinkable can still happen. Some habbits to incorporate into your daily life that make a difference.
I am sure you know this stuff. But remember it doesn’t just happen to other people. I have seen news segments where the neighbors say. It just doesn’t happen here, it happens to other people. WRONG.
1. Always keep your car door locked as soon as you get in. Even going to the corner store quickly or the gas station. Take your keys and lock the car.
2. As soon as you get into you home, lock the door and keep them locked. I have seen where a thief will come in while you are busy having an argument with your family member in the other room. If you have friends coming over, lock it.
3. Be aware of your surrounding. If you are walking away from the sun. The shadow on the sidewalk will alert you to someone following you.
A. If you are walking down street. Walk in the middle of the sidewalk. If you are close to a building someone can just grab you.
B. If someone grabs you, yell and scream as loud as you can. Tell people you don’t know this person.
C. If you are in a large parking lot. Have your keys ready before you get into the car. Look into the backseat and under the car to see if it is safe.
D. If there is a van near your car go back into the store and get a security guard to escort you back to your car or go to the passenger side of the car and get in. It will be uncomfortable but safer.
If you have something that you want to add or any situation that happened to you, please let us know about it.
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