I have a Writers Group that I attend once every month. This was the second meeting. We all belong to another bigger group and wanted to have a smaller group to do more active things like reading our work and critiquing each other plus feedback.
The first meeting we were all delayed because a few people named Ryan and Dino were going to be late and we all waited for them at a vegan café and coffee house around the corner from the library, our meeting place. Once at the library we really only had maybe less than an hour, so we all piled into chairs we picked someone to start reading and then we were off. I have to say the writers are very good.
This time the discussion was good with lots of feedback. Other read but when it came my turn. I read my entire first chapter. The first time I got to read my first chapter I only read a small portion of it at the other group. The feedback back then was very good but I felt that without reading the full chapter the group couldn’t get a real feel for the story. So this time I read the full chapter.
Once I finished the chapter we had a good discussion and I told a little of the secrets to the story. Again I was told that people wanted to know more. Overall the group was good and I learned a lot.
Later on Ryan read his story. If you read my last post on the Writers Group you may remember my comments of his stuff being dribble. Well it was dribble again. He writes a lot each day, and this day same as the others didn’t get a chance to edit it. Of course his face was turning red as he was reading, knowing full well how poorly written and badly editing was needed. But he continued. He seems so proud of his work, but once again it sounded like dribble to me. There was no plot; most of it was just narrative and very little interaction between the characters.
One thing about being a good writer is to show a story not tell the story. I believe the narrative that Ryan is doing is showing not telling.
Let me see if I can explain the difference.
Narrative.
In a small quant coffee shop Mary sat at her usual booth eating her usual sandwich. At the booth next to her a couple women were gossiping about everyone, when she overheard them talking about someone she knew, Simone. The women were gossiping about Simone having an affair, and her poor husband Larry.
This just glosses over the parts and in a lot of books there is a need for it but it is not very exciting. Now let’s take a look at showing the storyline.
Showing the storyline.
Mary was sitting in a coffee shop, the same booth she’s eaten in many times. Her favorite Roast Beef and Swiss cheese with mayo sandwich in front of her, a few bites eaten, when she overhears the people in the next booth talking.
“Did you hear Simone got caught having an affair with some guy she met at a dance and now she’s getting a divorce?” One of the women said.
“Really.” Mary thought, “Are they talking about Simone Simpson?
The other women excitedly chimed in, “I heard, poor Larry,” She tisks “He must be heartbroken. I know he loves her very much.”
“Ah!” Mary signed dramatically “They are taking about Simone Simpson. When did this happen and why? Larry is such a good guy.”
She had to know more, so Mary strained her ear as hard as she could to hear every detail. Then she was going to talk to Simone, knock some sense into her because as the other women said, Larry was a nice guy. “Why would Simone do such a thing?”
Can you notice the difference? Showing the storyline engages the reader, brings them into the story let them find out the same time as the characters.
Well this is how Ryan writes or narrates his story. It is very boring.
I find it funny since mine is engaging and gives enough mystery to make the reader continue to turn the pages. Okay enough about Ryan and his boring story. What happened after the Writing group is more exciting.
Last month all of the group ended up at a vegan coffee shop and talked for hours and had a great time. I had planned on going again this time. I don’t get many chances to go out so I was game for it, and expecting it, except no one was going. They all have other thing to do except Ryan. Of course, dread filled me but I was going and I was going to be diplomatic about it.
Ryan was a perfect gentleman who surprised me, he bought me an iced green tea and himself a coffee and we just talked about writing. He did say the first part of my story wasn’t very good. I do agree on that part and I’m debating how I will fix it, or just put it else where in my story.
Soon a blond woman showed up, I recognized her, she was in our other writing group. We exchanged introductions, Maria is her name, and made friendly talk. Soon it was clear to me that Ryan was using the group get together to get close to Maria. She is from Russia and has a lovely accent. I felt like a left heal but took it stoically. We did have a good discussion of books, mostly literature, and writing. Then when we noticed the coffee shop closing down Ryan suggested we go out for drinks. They both encouraged me to go. I thought why not, I’m old enough and want to check out the scene, so off we went to a local place with loud music and people milling around. It was interesting to me. One thing I love to do is watch people. It’s a great way to find new characters.
So while Ryan and Maria talked I watched people. And Ryan bought Maria and me a drink, which is something I rarely do. Again my opinion of him was changing.
At one point a group of people were doing a cute little line dance in the small dance area. I watched it carefully and soon had it down so I grabbed Ryan to dance, he grabbed Maria and we all trekked to the dense dance floor. As soon as we got there the music stopped and everyone disbanded. Oh darn, I knew I should have gone sooner. “Next time,” I promised myself I will go with or without dragging the others.
Ryan was still talking to Maria, he was showing her some of our crazy secret handshakes, and we were all standing together close in a small cluster. At one point Ryan put his arm around me and pulled me close then he took a picture of all of us with his camera phone. I noticed him trying to include me so I wouldn’t feel left out, which I appreciated. All in all I think having me there gave both of them the comfort of not feeling on a date and yet the chance to get to know one another.
I still had a good time watching everyone else. Around midnight we all went separate ways. The time out would have been awesome if some really good looking man saw me from across the room; sparks fly between us, and just had to talk to me. As he made his way to me, I shyly smiled and looked at him, encouraging him. Oh well, a girl can dream.
Share, laugh, cry, learn, grow, and bond with other women. Until next time.
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