On Good Friday, my boss said she had a present for me. I asked it if was good or bad. She said, “Good?” She walked over to a box on a desk in the office and very calmly brought out a vary large, prettily decorated sugar cookie that looked like a giant Easter Egg wrapped in plastic with a bow on top. She presented the cookie to me. “Happy Easter.” She said. The cookie was a work of art; it was so pretty I didn’t want to eat it. So I placed it in a certain area of my house and admired it for days.
I spied the cookie every once in a while and smiled to myself. Admired it and then walked away. I wondered if it tasted as good as it looked while I stroked the plastic around the cookie, and lightly flicked the bow on top. Then place it back on my shelf with assorted seasonings in my kitchen.
I kept telling myself it’s too pretty to eat. Last night when I got home from Zumba Exercise, I saw it. I didn’t do anything just admired it yet again. I ate Salmon with string beans, baked carrots with raisins, and water. The meal itself was very satisfying. But later I found myself thinking of that damn cookie. Wondering what it would taste like. Should I do it if I am trying to get rid of my stomach appendage?
As a person that eats her emotions, being aware of it, is the first and hardest part of the problem, I was stressing out about a partial relationship that is playing out. I don’t have someone in my life. I have been alone for years. I have friends and a lot of guys want me however, I find out things like they don’t have a job, no car, want to just move in with me and have me pay for everything, or just want sex.
I was contacted by an old boyfriend from years ago. He was a lot younger and our relationship didn’t go very well back then. I was glad to be away from him; however he told me he kept thinking of me. All the years a part he kept thinking of me, dreaming and remembering everything that I tried to teach him. He told me he was grateful and wanted to apologize for the way we broke up. I accepted his apology and we stayed in contact. We talked to each other at least once a day. I was enjoying our friendship, and was thinking certain things as you can imagine.
My friend has been talking about the past, and all the funny things that happened, reminiscing, bringing up scenarios, and do you remember this and that. We have been laughing a lot, but when I would bring up the present, he would have to go. Then I noticed he only called during work hours. He never called me at home after work or on the weekend especially on Sunday his one day off.
I noticed what he was posting on Facebook. Girlfriend and wife bashing, short stories, comments and Utube videos, all dealing with amateurish male stupidity over the female gender.
This does not look good to me. He talks good over the phone, says the right things, but we had a miscommunication a few weeks ago and he overreacted. I told him when we first started talking that I don’t like conflict and that I will walk away then come back later and talk. This way I don’t say anything that will hurt my loved one or say something I will be sorry for later. I needed time to think, to get a grip on my emotions.
During this time he tried to use guilt to get me to do things his way and then twisted the situation around to center on him. The original fight was where he mocked me during a phone call in the first place, which I didn’t like and then asked him about it. He stated it was a joke.
After a few days later and a few emails later I apologized first. I took the high road and said I was sorry. He did apology to me afterward but with the understanding that I was wrong. He still won’t face up to what he did.
(It is such a simple thing to say you’re sorry and really mean it. Just don’t bring up other stuff, like things from the past or bring up obvious sensitivities).
There are a few things that concern me. First I believe he is living in the past, a past that is gone. I feel he has no idea of who I am today and isn’t interested in knowing. Second, I feel he hasn’t grown enough, even though he is in his 40’s, to handle not being able to argue fairly.
The reason why I bring all of this up. It has to do with the cookie. I was stressing out what I am going to do about my friend. So I ate the cookie. There I confess. I ate the cookie but I didn’t feel any better afterwards. The cookie that looked so pretty didn’t taste as good as it looks, not as good as say, Chocolate Chip.
So my final analysis, I ate the cookie to feel better but it didn’t work. I hurt myself more in the end by continuing my emotion eating and the fat to my stomach appendage.
I just wanted to state this. At the time I didn’t believe anything could help but I tried. I guess the only way to help my emotions is to talk to my friend. (Yuck)
Thank you for reading and your comments, they are really appreciated. If you want to share, or have a solution, we need to hear from you. Remember you don’t have to be a member to comment. Share, laugh, cry, learn, grow and bond with other women. Until next time.
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