Friday, December 3, 2010

From Trust To Betrayal, What Would You Do?

I’m just a regular girl; I’ve had my share of boyfriends when I was younger, some good and some bad, which made the contact from an old boyfriend on a social media page quite a shock.

I read his email.  He explained that when we were together he was young, angry and stupid.  He made the most sincere apology I’ve ever read, I accepted his apology, thinking that maybe he chanced, and we became friend.   He called me everyday and we learned about our lives and what happened to each other during the twenty years span of time since we were together. 

He seemed interesting in how I was and genuinely helpful at times.  About six months ago I had car trouble.  I was walking to work, only a few blocks away, and really stressed out because I needed to get food and money at the bank and all kinds of crazy stuff, not to mention how was I going to pay for the repairs.   My friend offered to help by sending me an amount of money.  I asked if that was something he really wanted to do?  His response was an emphatic YES.   At the time I was beginning to have feeling for him.  


The very next day he didn’t call.  Mind you he had been calling each day.  Now he is not calling at all, and if he does, he is very short with the call.  “I can’t talk long, it’s busy at work.  I’ll call you later.” Only later never comes.  Days go by before I would hear from him again. 

Weeks go by and I’m still trying to get my car fixed.  I’m getting more and more frustrated.  After a while everything somehow works itself out and I got my car back and all the drama is now calm, without his help or the money he promised to send.   

Now things are coming clearer to me.  He never grew up, only in his capacity to say he was sorry, but not in fulfilling his responsibilities or promises.  He was still the same selfish man that he was those many years before, which is why I left him.  (The amount of damage and financial problems he left me with years ago are still on my mind.)  I gave him a chance and this is what he does.

I wrote him a goodby email, since he lives across the states from me. 

He called, wrote emails back screaming “You broke my heart.”  He did text messages.  “I really cared about you, how can you do this.” 
When he finally caught up with me on the phone and after some argument back and forth, I explained that I was able to get the car fixed without his help.  He stopped all his fussing and stated that he sent the money by Western Union that day, which I knew he didn’t.  After a few more statements he accused me of just wanting to be with him for the money. 

I know that some of you will be saying, Oh come on, and I agree with you.  I let that one go, but my feelings at that point were only friend.   I took the high road I was going to wait to what he was going to do.    

Time goes by and we were still talking.  He’s acting like everything is good and we are still an item.  (I know, right.)  Anyway, the NaNoWriMO month came and I decided to participate, but ran into a snag, my employer wouldn’t let me work on her computer.  And my computer at home was not good.  (It’s a long story.)   You guessed it; he offers to help me with a Laptop.  (Brilliant Idea.)

I told him, if you are going to offer this, actually do it, and not leave me hurt and disappointed. I gave him every opportunity to back out. Nope he emphatically stated he wanted to do this for me.  I agreed knowing full well that he won’t do it.  Later that night I told my mother about it.  She sent me money and between me, my mother and a friend who knew someone that was selling a laptop, I had a Laptop in a few weeks.     

Of course I never told him, I wanted to see if he would send the money this time as he promised.  It’s been weeks and nothing but excuses after excuses, and lately no calls at all. 

I am no longer even friends with him and will stay as far as I can from him. 

My question is why?  Why would he offer, even though I gave him plenty of time to say something came up and he couldn’t do it?  No he still claiming he sent the money.

Apparently he hasn’t grown up at all. He’s still that selfish jerk he was those many years ago.  There is a reason people break up and it needs to stay that way.  I wish him well but I also wish him to stay away from me.  Have you had something like this happen?  How did you handle it?  What would you do differently?   Until next time. 




  

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