This Year's Theme Will Be "Facing My Fears. "

Facing your fears takes courage.   This week or rather this year, I will be facing my fear of writing. 

Even if what I write is not good.  The only way I’m going to progress is if I write.  That’s a cliché I know.  But it’s also the truth, one that I am willing to face now. 

Every time I sit to write, even if it’s to journal, my writing improves. The other thing that helps is reading.  Every time I read, I see how authors use different techniques. How they describe things, and set up plots and much more.  My writing is not as amateurish. But it’s not publishable yet either.     

The other thing is to face my fears of feedback.  The critiquing group members put themselves on the line by submitting their work for our inspection.  We have had some really good discussions about how to make the pieces work.  Our writing has grown by facing this fear.  It does get easier the more we do it.    

 The last time the critiquing group gathered, I finally read some of my own work. Until then I did a good job of letting others read and received the feedback, however I wouldn’t read.  I found every excuse not to. They told me I had to read and that I better have something prepared.  I did, and I learned it really wasn’t that bad. This next year there will be no more excuses.  *Fingers crossed*  (Hopefully I'll keep this resolution.)

The hardest part of writing is learning how to revise.  The group is realizing that truth as we go along, and as time goes, the writing process will get easier.  In the mean time we are navigating the novel writing process together.  

I just read a great article from Writers Digest.  10-ways-to-harness-fear-and-fuel-your-writing

I'm going to use this article to help me face my fears of writing and learn to recognize when I'm doing it, and how to get myself out of it.  It should be an interesting year.   

This is what I tell the writers of my critiquing group.  Write because you love it.  If what you are writing is fun it won't be so hard to write.   

Are you scare to write?  Do you have trouble facing your fears.  Are you afraid of success or failure?  Read the article and then keep track of your progress as I am.  We can face our fears together. 

Until next time. 

Miracles Can Happen.

A few posts back I had a profound instinct to get back to my diet and eat better, especial after everything that I went through about four months ago.  The last two months have been better, but I knew I needed to make a change.  I prayed about it and received a very interesting answer.

Of all the crazy things to happen, as soon as I tell myself to stop eating greasy foods and start eating better, my body kicks in and says forget it.  While eating the fried chicken everyday, I asked myself why repeatedly? 

  “Why would you eat this knowing that it makes you feel bad, that it’s not good for your cholesterol, and the fat will go straight to your already bloated stomach?  Why would you do this?”

 

I just kept asking myself, every time I ate incorrectly.  There is a saying amongst the religious.  If you ask a question enough you will receive an answer.  It just may not be in words but you will receive and answer.

The last two times I ate the greasy fried chicken, I noticed a few things such as the chicken didn’t taste as good, and it was filled with gross fat, amongst other things.  There was my answer.  I was totally turned off about eating the chicken, then about eating anything that was not healthy.  It was a miracle I guess.  Since the realization of how gross the fried chicken was I have not had a taste for it.  I used to get salads at the same place.  But I decided that if I wanted a salad, why not make it the way that I wanted, with the ingredients I have right in my kitchen. 

Today for lunch I have a wonderful salad, with turkey sausage, and assorted dried fruit and nuts for snacks.  This weekend I’ll make sure I have plenty of fruits and vegetable to munch on for next week. 

 

Thank goodness for small miracles.  Well, actually big ones, when you think about it, I had been asking the question WHY for about 6 months.   Now that I have the answer I feel more confident than ever about my health and weight.  I’ll keep you updated.  

If you have a question about anything such as WHY, don’t be afraid to ask it.  Just keep asking until you get the answer you need, but be prepared; the answer may not come in the way you think. 

Do you have a similar story to tell?  Share, laugh, love, cry, grow and bond with other women, you never know if an answer might be within the story of another.  Until next time.   

All pictures are from picture.com http://pictures.com/  If your don't want a picture on her let me know and I will remove it immediately. 

Facing One's Own Fears

I am going to go out on a limb here and state my biggest fears. Well the ones I want to work on. Well I guess I could work on others as well, since I am putting myself on that limb.

I’m sure some of us women have issues with, lets see. Weight. This is my first issue. I have issues with weight, because food is my drug of choice. When I am board, hurt, upset, or really anything I shove food in my mouth. I now shove good organic food into my mouth, but it is food none the less.

There is another fear I have. Fear of success. This one in particular is hard for me. I’ll explain why. I went through a lot of therapy for this, to understand it. I still have that chatter from long ago. You know the chatter that people tell you when you are young. Only problem is that the chatter is no longer valid in the face of all that you may have overcome in the years since.

I have this pattern. I excel for a time and get success and results. Then all of the sudden stuff starts happening that put me in a quandary, and I have to stop my projects to take care of them (Classic) I try to get back to my projects; only to, it seems go backwards for a time, until I get my head on straight and go forward again. Part of that time I am depressed. I seem to be in a stupor and don’t even realize it. One day I just wake up and look around me. The house is a mess, I have things that need to be done, my weight is back up again. My struggling is stymied. I see it clearly, I know what is happening. I tell myself to continue and get back up on that horse, so to speak. I do but only half way.

Part of me wants to lose weight and look better at 50 than I did at 30. But do I want the attention of male suitors? Part of me wants to finish my book and rejoice that I have done it. (The story will finally be out of my head.) But then if it is successful my life will change. How? What way? Will the change be welcome by my friends and readers or be ridicule from my peers. Will I have the courage to continue my craft that I love so much either way?

These are great fears. Well, they seem gigantic to me at least. What I decided to do, is chronicle my success in both my weight and my writing. My hope is that I will become accountable for myself and to my readers. Maybe in the throws of being responsible for my actions and to explain my defeats I can push myself over that edge and finally face my fears. One step at a time.

I know the journey will be interesting and scary. I will explain my insights as they come, sort of like journaling, but different, and I will be bonding with my girls on the blog. (That is if you gals can stand it).

This sounds cliché but I will start the chronicling in a few days. There a few things that I need to set up and make decisions on. I believe I had decided on a few things but need to put them in goal form. If you wish to work through your fears or weight issues along with us, join the bonding call and comment on your progress, and know that we are not along in our fears.

We will, hopefully if we face them, defeat our fears.

Part one, Decided our issue or issues to work on.
Part two, mark in small increments how we intent to accomplish our tasks.
Part three, Write reasonable and small goals, with timelines as to the steps to our goals.

Example: what is your final goal? Then work back words, think about what you would need to do in order to accomplish the goal. Write them down. plan. Make the reasonable and small. Make the timeline a few days or weeks at a time. That way the goal can be accomplished easier, based on the goal.

Such as my writing goal, Here is one that I decided to do.
1. Write one page of the current chapter you are working on.
2. Work on your back stories on your different characters.
3. Revise your current outline to reflect the latest changes.
4. Write small notes or passages on any ideas that come along and add them to your slush pile.
5. What can you do today to accomplish your goal so you won't be overwhelmed.

one of the first things I did was print all 90 pages I already have of my book.
I am still doing character development and back stories on some of them. I will continue those.

I could do a lot more if I could just stop reading in the meantime. Oh well.

This is my start. I will confess all my doing or procrastination as I progress. You may yell at me if I'm falling behind. I may need a swift kick.

I also want everyone to know I am studying English in my spare time and writing this blog. I go to Zumba exercise plus work a full time job. So try not to yell at me too much. I am 50 yrs old, and don't have as much energy as I would like or used to have. That's it for now ladies. Till next time. By for now.

If you have a story to tell or something to share, comment to this installment of Woman’s issues what do you think? We would love to hear from you.