The end of the this blog.

Hello to all.

My life has taken a turn in a different direction.  I am still interested in writing however I am not writing Fantasy Fiction at the time, I am mostly journaling my spiritual experience. 

This blog will be deleted by the end of June, since I have not blogged in many a days.

I wish all love, grace and that your fondest wishes come true.  Whatever you want may they be grand.

Take care.

RJ Marsh

Moving Part 3

Next day the last part of the move.  We were both tired, achy, and a little bit moody.  My friend had been quiet all morning and during breakfast.  We briefly talked.  To be honest I was preoccupied by the big pieces of furniture that was to be moved.  We were expecting my friend’s male friend to help us.  That help would make a big difference in how this last leg of the move goes. 

After breakfast we drove the Uhaul truck to the old apartment.  Old since I slept in my new apartment last night.  We arrived at the place.  It looked forlorn.  I’m glad I’m moving. I have never liked this place and even though moving is difficult, in the end I know it will be for the best.

We walked in and saw all the stuff that still needed to be gathered and placed in the truck.  The last being the large pieces in which my friend’s friend will help.  I immediately started in the kitchen gathering all the last minute things.  I heard my friend talking and realized he was on his cell.  Apparently he was talking to his friend.  Oh Good soon this will be all over.

My friend said he was going to meet his friend at the bus stop and bring him back.  “Okay” I said.  Then I had a premonition.  “Are you coming back?”  I asked. 
“Oh yeah,” My friend said as he walk out. 

I kept busy cleaning and getting all the stuff into a corner.  Then I started to load some of the stuff in the truck, what I could at least.  My body was so sore.  I called my friend and left a message.  It had been more than an hour.  I was getting worried.

Another hour later my friend called and said he would be there shortly, they were on their way.  “Thank you.”  I told him and hung up.  I continued to load what I could.  More than an hour later I realized the truth.  My friend wasn’t coming back.  Something must have happened with his friend.  My friend got scared and decided he had enough.  This was very scary for me to realize. 

Once I faced the truth, I tried not to hate my friend. At that point I was glad that the bulk of my stuff was in my new place. The truck was due back in a few hours, and I was really worried.  Just to be sure I called Uhaul and told them what happened, they gave me a few hours more and wouldn’t charge me.  Once again I prayed for strength. 

I loaded up what I could, physically, and let me tell you it was heart breaking to leave a lot of my stuff in that old apartment.  My hands were tied, not having the help I needed.    I was still was looking at taking what I did haul in the truck to my new place and up those wonderful 20 steps. 

Then I had to return the Uhaul truck and walk home.  Not fun prospects.  I started back to the new place and parked out in front…
Until next time. 

Moving Part 2

The saying goes “You know who your friends are when you have to move.”  This was the case when it came to my move day.  Everything was all set to go.  One of the friends had another friend with a truck that was going to help.  I just had to pay the gas. 

The night before the move, I get a text.  “Sorry can’t help you move.” 
WHAT!  I called my girlfriend in a panic.  She didn’t answer, so I left a voice message.  Then I got to thinking maybe I should text her since she text me.  I got another text back stating “I’m throwing up blood.” 
I text back, “What about friend with truck?”  No response.   

I didn’t know what to think.  I went to bed that night with a heavy heart.  I prayed all would be well.  The next day, at the appointed hour, NO one showed up. Not one person who said they would help called or anything.  I was left with no help and a ton of stuff to move.  Even thought I got rid of a lot there was still enough. 

Knowing full well I was in deep poop I devised a half crazed plan.  I called the local Uhaul truck company and managed to rent a truck for 24 hours. *Wiping forehead*  I just had to pick it up, then see if I can find a few homeless guys that wanted to earn some money. They hang out at local churches sometimes.  Maybe a few will be there, I hope. 

 I walked to the bus stop and what a long walk it was. I sat down and I couldn’t help it, started crying my eyes out.  I haven’t cried that hard in a while.  The person waiting at the stop asked what was the matter.  I couldn’t stop crying.  Then I heard my name.  I looked up and one of the guys who was going to help but didn’t show up, was standing there, at the bus stop.  When I explained what happened, between wet eyes and sniffles, he agreed to help me move. 

We took the bus together and picked up the Uhaul truck then proceeded to my apartment and packed up what we could.  You should have seen all those boxes stacked up among other things.  Some of the furniture was to be given to the guys and gal who help me move, that was part of the bargain.  Now the furniture was thrown away.  What else could I do?  I certainly couldn’t take it with me.  My new apartment was too small.  What a waste, perfectly good furniture someone could have used. 

Still some of the pieces were going but they were too big and one man couldn’t move it by himself.  He needed help so he made some calls and finally located someone who agreed, his friend was going to meet up with us the next day. 

After hours of lifting and going up and down 20 steps, we finally unloaded all the stuff.  My back and legs were mush.  My friend seemed fine.  (I hate that)  He just shrugged and smiled.  " I do this kind of work everyday."  he said. 

Anyway my friend stayed with me in the new apartment.  It seemed harsh to make him take the bus home then come back the next day.  I had big pillows he laid on the floor and I had my new twin bed.

It's always hard to sleep in a new place.  We both got SOME sleep but he even complained the next morning.   By the way he was a complete gentleman.  Not only that, he paid for breakfast the next day. 

Now to just get the rest of the stuff.  Man we really need this other person that's coming.   

Until Next Time. 

Moving part 1

One of the things I had been thinking about doing was simplifying my life. My children are gone and I’m older.  I don’t really need the burden of having all that stuff.  Things have to be maintained. One way to simplify is to downsize.

Now when it comes to simplifying, one of the things I had and didn’t want to get rid of was my car.  It broke down and the cost to have it fixed was beyond my means at the time.  I was faced with the daunting task of public transportation.   How was I going to get groceries, do my errands.  It was heart breaking.  I figured it out but it wasn’t easy. 

So back to the moving:
As everyone knows, one of the hardest things is packing all the stuff you’ve accumulated over the years.  At no other time do we have a glimpse of how much useless stuff we have until we have to pack it up in neat boxes.

The Simplifying thing:
Looking around, what to do first? I currently have a 2 bedroom apartment.  I was going to move into a very small 1 bedroom apartment.  I mean one room holds the living room and kitchen.  There is a small bathroom on one side and a really small bedroom on the other side, about half the size of my current bedroom.  So what to do? You do the obvious, decide what to keep and what to throw away. 

I walked into each room and began to decide what to get rid of.  Some of it was easy. My life took different turns and some things I meant to do didn’t happen, so those got tossed right away.  After that I had to take stock of what I really needed and used.  Some things I had were really old such as makeup and toiletries those were tossed over the shoulders. 

As I was packing boxes, even more was tossed.  Then something occurred to me.  A lot of the stuff I had was given to me by close friends, family members, during special dark times in my life.  Lots of that stuff was tossed over that shoulder.  Man I was throwing away a lot.  

Then I realized there was a lot of stuff I hadn’t used in a lonnnnng time. Why am I keeping it?  I easily filled up the big huge trashcan that the city provides.  My normal trash is one small bag every two weeks.   Each week I had them filled to capacity.  Each week that I unloaded a portion of my old life, I felt lighter, uplifted, it was very liberating. I also started to give things away, that was fun.

Next thing, what to do about most of my furniture…

Until next time. 

This Year's Theme Will Be "Facing My Fears. "

Facing your fears takes courage.   This week or rather this year, I will be facing my fear of writing. 

Even if what I write is not good.  The only way I’m going to progress is if I write.  That’s a cliché I know.  But it’s also the truth, one that I am willing to face now. 

Every time I sit to write, even if it’s to journal, my writing improves. The other thing that helps is reading.  Every time I read, I see how authors use different techniques. How they describe things, and set up plots and much more.  My writing is not as amateurish. But it’s not publishable yet either.     

The other thing is to face my fears of feedback.  The critiquing group members put themselves on the line by submitting their work for our inspection.  We have had some really good discussions about how to make the pieces work.  Our writing has grown by facing this fear.  It does get easier the more we do it.    

 The last time the critiquing group gathered, I finally read some of my own work. Until then I did a good job of letting others read and received the feedback, however I wouldn’t read.  I found every excuse not to. They told me I had to read and that I better have something prepared.  I did, and I learned it really wasn’t that bad. This next year there will be no more excuses.  *Fingers crossed*  (Hopefully I'll keep this resolution.)

The hardest part of writing is learning how to revise.  The group is realizing that truth as we go along, and as time goes, the writing process will get easier.  In the mean time we are navigating the novel writing process together.  

I just read a great article from Writers Digest.  10-ways-to-harness-fear-and-fuel-your-writing

I'm going to use this article to help me face my fears of writing and learn to recognize when I'm doing it, and how to get myself out of it.  It should be an interesting year.   

This is what I tell the writers of my critiquing group.  Write because you love it.  If what you are writing is fun it won't be so hard to write.   

Are you scare to write?  Do you have trouble facing your fears.  Are you afraid of success or failure?  Read the article and then keep track of your progress as I am.  We can face our fears together. 

Until next time. 

Have You Ever Felt the Earth Move?

Yesterday on my way to The Small Writers Critiquing Group, while waiting for the Rapid train, or Trolly, something really phenomenal happened.  It was wonderful.  After taking the bus and arriving too late to catch the train I settled in for the fifteen or twenty minutes wait.

There was a few of us waiting on the platform.  I talked briefly to one of the men.  Then I found about six pennies, picked them up and put them in my pocket, which is something I always do when I find any money. I heard birds squawking and looked up into the rafters to see their nest.  But the most significant thing I did was look straight up past the glass roof into the beautiful sky with pretty cottony clouds gently drifting by.

Marveling at how the sky was so blue and the sun was out on a January day such as this, especially in Cleveland Ohio, one of the snowiest cities in the entire USA.  Then for some reason, I don’t know how, I shifted.  I mean my perception shifted.  I was looking at the clouds, and then my focus point became fixed.  I let the clouds float by as I kept the same point.  But then I noticed I was no longer focusing on the point.  I became aware of my position on the ground.  I don’t know if I’m saying this correctly but I felt my body on the ground, and at the same time of the position at which I was looking in the sky, and at the same moment I was aware of the earth moving. 

I felt the earth move on its axis.  When not really paying attention we, the people of Earth, feel that the clouds are moving in the sky.  Actually the clouds are stationary; it is the earth that really moves. 

It was such an incredible feeling, so excited was I that I immediately turned to the man to whom I talked briefly with before.  “If you look at the sky and focus your eyes in one spot you can feel the earth move.” I said.

He just looked at me strangely.  I tried again.  “Look at a point in the sky, now center your focus on your body.  Can you feel the earth movement?” He looked up briefly then back at me with a very curious look. I’m pretty sure he thought I was just out of a mental hospital.  No matter.  I got it and at that moment it was a precious gift.  Still, the wonders of actually feeling the earth move. I was in awe and still am as I’m writing it. 

Try it one day.   Stay completely still in a sitting or lying position, then look at the sky, holding your focus, not on the clouds but in one spot.  Center the point on your body and then transform your perception, by feeling the fantastic movement of the earth.  Then you know how wondrous everything is around you.

Did you look into the sky and feel it?  If you didn’t keep trying until it happens.  If you did, congratulations.  What was it like to transform yourself?

Until next time. 

2012 New Years Resolutions

Now that the New Year is here, what resolutions have you decided on?

Did you decide to lose weight, exercise more, save more or pay on your bills?  These resolutions are wonderful, but have you planned out how you will tackle them?

Why haven’t you achieved your resolutions before?  Was the goal too big or did life just get in the way?

This year my resolutions will be tackled one day at a time.  One thing that I’ve noticed while journalizing was that something happens before, during and after a major decision in my life.  It was during the journal writing that I discovered this.  In retrospect it has happened all, I just wasn’t aware of it.  Now I can go back and read what I was feeling, what I did, and how I came up with the new part of me.  It’s really fascinating. 

Break down your resolutions into short term, or daily goals. Check every few months on your progress and make adjustments.  Then continue on the daily goals.  In this way it’s easier to see the actual progress and at the end of this year, the growth or weakness will be glaring.  Later we can discuss ways to address the weaknesses. 

Did you stick with your resolutions? Perhaps you decided on something completely different. Anything can happen that can make that resolution not a priority at the time.  What happen and how did you compensate for it.  Understanding the reasons for it will help in the long run.  Was it something that was completely out of your control? Or was it something such as fear or you want to do something but don’t know how. So the best route would be to research how to accomplish what it is you want.  Again breaking it down on a daily basis or short term goal will help you. 

One of my goals is to do more writing.  I know that I am doing a good job of journalizing so I want to concentrate on my storytelling and writing of my manuscript.   So I will have daily, weekly and monthly goals.  This way I can chart my progress.  If something comes up, I won’t chastise myself.  I will simply start again where I left off. 

For my first writing goal.  My critiquing group has told me that the next time we get together I was to read first, so I better have something prepared.  I also realized something else.  Like most writers, we think our work is boring or well mainly bad.  The critiquing group tells me they are very much interested in reading more of my work, but I am unsatisfied with it.  I realized I was comparing my work to my favorite published writers.  Writers that I love reading and have been writing for numerous years.  It’s wrong for me to compare my writing from them.  I realized I needed the feedback and that I should face what they had to say about my story.  I cannot grow as a writer without it.  Our meeting is five days away so I better get to writing. 

So for my first weekly goal.  Continue to journal.  Tackle one chapter at a time on my manuscript. Then after the next meeting plan how I will tackle the revision of the feedback and tackle the next chapter. 

Oh and one last goal for the week, another blog post.  I have struggled to find a voice for this blog, it’s a work in progress. I’m sure it will go through more changes but it is all in the learning. 

I will be charting my progress on the New Years Writing Resolution much as I did last year on my book reading challenge.  My book reading challenge will not be as much because this year it is mostly about the writing.  But check on my progress from time to time and see how I do.  At the same time keep track of your own resolutions and see how you do.  Then we can compare notes. 

Take the challenge with me.  What is your weekly challenge, then chart it, and at the end of the year, you can be proud of what you do.  Or realize what needs to be done for the next year.  Either way it will be a good look at you.

Until next time.