Weight Update:
I have a confession. Even while I write this blog, I continued to eat fatning, greasy food. I did tell you about some of it. However I ate bad things for me far more than I told you. I am facing that right here right how.
I would tell myself only for today, don’t eat the greasy food. I would pack a really good lunch with snacks and bring a bottle of my home brewed iced tea to work with me everyday. I would eat my favorite breakfast – strawberries, low fat cottage cheese, ½ a bagel and the iced green tea. But when it came to lunch, as I would get hungry I would think, eat the cold salad, or get warm greasy chicken from across the street. More often than not I would get the greasy chicken. Why, because it was something warm, and the other reason. I am not sure.
What is bad is the way I would berate myself while I ate the chicken. “Why.” I kept asking myself. My answer. ‘I don’t know.” It was some kind of mystery, still is. I would feel bad both physically and mentally afterwards, then looked in the mirror and be unsatisfied at my appearance. Better yet I would tell myself lies like, there is too many chemicals in the food. Chemicals that make you want to eat more, which is the truth, but an excuse none the less.
The next questions I would ask me: What about your high cholesterol? People die every year because they cannot control their cholesterol. Do you want to kill yourself? What are you trying to accomplish by eating everything in sight?
Suddenly an epiphany. There are two types of people. Ones that live in the past and ones that live in the future. The people whose mental energies live in the past: remembering past things that happened to them long ago and having regrets, wishing thing were like then. People who live in the future: looking toward a future goal, something intangible that will happen in the future.
I live in the future.
You can see the futility in this thinking. One thing I learned from the art of attraction, or from the book “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. Is that staying present is the best and most efficient way to accomplish what you set out to do.
If you became what you desired after many years of working towards a goal, how did you get to the goal? Now think back. What did you do everyday to accomplish that goal? Answer, even if you’re not aware of it. You did something even small toward that goal or a small list of goals every day. The point is you worked towards that goal one day at a time. One moment at a time.
For everyday that I eat a cookie, greasy chicken or anything else that is not good for my body, in a sense I am killing myself. Me not anyone else. Me. I don’t want to die early. Like the alcoholic or heroin addict or smoker, for every cigarette or drink that they put in their mouths they bring death closer. I was/ am doing the same thing. Like I said food is my drug of choice.
One other thing that I was working with in the face of food, I was throwing away food that had spoiled in the refrigerator, and throwing away money. I am trying to gain control of my bills and succeeding however, I was unsatisfied that I could not save. I saved some, but I was throwing away money, every time I threw spoiled food in the trash. I would shake my head in discuss as I threw away the food and then tell myself it’s okay to eat the entire plate of food because I didn’t want to waste it. (How silly is that)
(See how one thing affects another like a line of dominions crashing down one after another.) To gain control over one thing you must control another.
When I realized that It was all me, the lies I told myself. My stupid reasoning, I realized I was the only one to make the correct changes. I had been good about some things in my life. Examples: Keeping the house clean. I learned how to speed clean. As long as I take a few minutes to do the everyday maintenance, the house stayed cleaned. I never went a day with dishes in the sink. I never left the house without making the bed.
I was paying on bills each month, keeping track and watching the amounts go down. I was being vigilant doing my reading, English lessons and other interest.
I noticed when I went to Trader Joe’s last night. I only bought one thing of Chocolate Chip cookies, instead of three bad things I normally buy. I was very proud of myself.
Now here is something to think about. I have done this in the past: did not buy any goodies to eat and then ate bread for dinner some night. Well really more than a few.
When I went to pick up the cookies this time. I got a bad taste in my mouth. I ate only one. Normally I would get the one then go get a few more. Then get a few more. And in two days, a dozen cookies would have been eaten. I didn’t do that this time. Every time I think of the cookies now, I think about my death. And make the choice not to eat it. I still have them in my kitchen cabinet.
Plus I am back to my Zumba classes twice a week. I am going to add ten speed bike riding in between the Zumba classes. I am going to add other things to work on my fifth appendage, my stomach soon. I have to work up to doing all this, and putting it in my schedule.
In conclusion of my Weight issue: Only I can make the necessary changes needed to control my weight. One thing I faced was the fact that the older I become, the harder it will be to stay in health. Make sure my thoughts are in the present, one day at a time. Making sure I eat everything in the house and work on not being wasteful or allowing food to spoil. Thinking about my death or my extension of life if I continue on the path I have chosen.
I am sure at some point I will forget these points as I continue my road of life, but hopefully I will be quick to remember them and get back on track.
Writing Up date:
Since I realized the puzzle piece of what was missing in my storyline, subplots, I have become more into those stories and have been writing like crazy. I am having a blast.
I am becoming more disciplined with my life. Since I have purpose now, I don’t get depressed as I used too. That may change like anything else. Something may come along that throws me, but once again I hopefully will be able to pick myself back up and continue my goals.
It seems both my writing and weight issues are getting resolved. I am still not out of the woods yet. I still have the path of success to figure out.
Finishing the book will be a major accomplishment. That will be just the beginning; there is finding an agent, getting published, then marketing the book and putting my work out for all to see. Then there are the other stories to write about. One book is only the beginning.
Even though I have figured out what I was doing wrong with my weight. The day to day struggles are still to come. There are the twist and turns of life that I will face and will still talk about.
Share with us some of your struggles and how you overcame them. Your stories may help other women or inspire them and yourself to grow. Just talking about it is good. Share, laugh, live, cry, grow and bond with us. Join the discussion today.
Until next time.
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