From Trust To Betrayal, What Would You Do?

I’m just a regular girl; I’ve had my share of boyfriends when I was younger, some good and some bad, which made the contact from an old boyfriend on a social media page quite a shock.

I read his email.  He explained that when we were together he was young, angry and stupid.  He made the most sincere apology I’ve ever read, I accepted his apology, thinking that maybe he chanced, and we became friend.   He called me everyday and we learned about our lives and what happened to each other during the twenty years span of time since we were together. 

He seemed interesting in how I was and genuinely helpful at times.  About six months ago I had car trouble.  I was walking to work, only a few blocks away, and really stressed out because I needed to get food and money at the bank and all kinds of crazy stuff, not to mention how was I going to pay for the repairs.   My friend offered to help by sending me an amount of money.  I asked if that was something he really wanted to do?  His response was an emphatic YES.   At the time I was beginning to have feeling for him.  

The very next day he didn’t call.  Mind you he had been calling each day.  Now he is not calling at all, and if he does, he is very short with the call.  “I can’t talk long, it’s busy at work.  I’ll call you later.” Only later never comes.  Days go by before I would hear from him again. 

Weeks go by and I’m still trying to get my car fixed.  I’m getting more and more frustrated.  After a while everything somehow works itself out and I got my car back and all the drama is now calm, without his help or the money he promised to send.   

Now things are coming clearer to me.  He never grew up, only in his capacity to say he was sorry, but not in fulfilling his responsibilities or promises.  He was still the same selfish man that he was those many years before, which is why I left him.  (The amount of damage and financial problems he left me with years ago are still on my mind.)  I gave him a chance and this is what he does.

I wrote him a goodby email, since he lives across the states from me. 

He called, wrote emails back screaming “You broke my heart.”  He did text messages.  “I really cared about you, how can you do this.” 

When he finally caught up with me on the phone and after some argument back and forth, I explained that I was able to get the car fixed without his help.  He stopped all his fussing and stated that he sent the money by Western Union that day, which I knew he didn’t.  After a few more statements he accused me of just wanting to be with him for the money. 

I know that some of you will be saying, Oh come on, and I agree with you.  I let that one go, but my feelings at that point were only friend.   I took the high road I was going to wait to what he was going to do.    

Time goes by and we were still talking.  He’s acting like everything is good and we are still an item.  (I know, right.)  Anyway, the NaNoWriMO month came and I decided to participate, but ran into a snag, my employer wouldn’t let me work on her computer.  And my computer at home was not good.  (It’s a long story.)   You guessed it; he offers to help me with a Laptop.  (Brilliant Idea.)

I told him, if you are going to offer this, actually do it, and not leave me hurt and disappointed. I gave him every opportunity to back out. Nope he emphatically stated he wanted to do this for me.  I agreed knowing full well that he won’t do it.  Later that night I told my mother about it.  She sent me money and between me, my mother and a friend who knew someone that was selling a laptop, I had a Laptop in a few weeks.     

Of course I never told him, I wanted to see if he would send the money this time as he promised.  It’s been weeks and nothing but excuses after excuses, and lately no calls at all. 

I am no longer even friends with him and will stay as far as I can from him. 

My question is why?  Why would he offer, even though I gave him plenty of time to say something came up and he couldn’t do it?  No he still claiming he sent the money.

Apparently he hasn’t grown up at all. He’s still that selfish jerk he was those many years ago.  There is a reason people break up and it needs to stay that way.  I wish him well but I also wish him to stay away from me.  Have you had something like this happen?  How did you handle it?  What would you do differently?   Until next time. 

  

The Diligent Writers Critiquing Group.

The Diligent Writes Critiquing Group is a group that I started because I couldn’t find anyone one to help me with critiquing.  I needed and wanted feedback on my work. 

On November 20^th, I held my second meeting.  The first time we only had two people. That meeting went really well.  One person due to personal reasons dropped out for a while, but this meeting we had three people.  All three got a chance to read their work and we had some wonderful discussion on writing, characters, good ideas, the benefit of having good critiquing and various other subjects.  The two hours went quickly and it was really enjoyable. 

I didn’t read because I was working on my first draft manuscript. If I did read it would have been full of embarrassing mistakes.  If someone reads, it’s better to have edited it several times before presenting it to the group.  

***The next meeting is on December 18^th. ***

I’m making up reminder flyers to send to everyone.

Being the host of a group has it own rewards. While I am the leader of the group, the group is there to benefit everyone.  My job is to make sure that it runs smoothly and stays on track.  Sometime the group can get on a subject and then the real reason they came is not accomplished.   I also look for good parting information as words of wisdom to give them.  To keep the members on their journey and to give them more than what they came for.    

In making the decision to start The Diligent Writers Critiquing Group because I couldn’t fine one I feel shows great character.  It shows diligence in not only the writing process but in the journey to greatness.  If you have a journey that you are proud of tell your story and let other see you shine.  Until next time. 

What I did in November

I know its December but since I was so busy with the NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writers Month last month and completing my over 50,000 word count manuscript in November I thought I would update you on a few things that happened during that month.   

I belong to The Greater Cleveland Writers Group.   The meeting was on November 2^nd.  It’s on a boat on the edge of the water right in Downtown Cleveland.  Most of the summer we were on the outside deck, with the seagulls and swirling breezes, but it was nice.  When it became too dark to read our work, the meeting adjourned and we all mulled around networking and talking. 

This last meeting we were once again indoor because of weather.  A long table was set up and most of the chairs were taken except one on the far end.  As I walked up to sit down I noted the person I would be sitting next too.  He is a very prominent editor and writer, having several books out and is one of the leading experts in the group.   Over the last year I have noted him sitting on the other side of the room and during his helpful answer question periods.  He is extremely knowledgeable.  I was a bit nervous sitting next to him.  He was talking to a few people sitting around us so I listened in. 

I was very surprised at how approachable he was, his knowledge made the advice he gave very sound.   He really does know what he’s talking about.  I spent most of the night standing near him listening and getting so much in return.  He poured out the advice and encouragement to anyone that asked.  Before the night was over he gave me his card. 

I heard the term before.  Never judge a book by its cover.  When I first saw him during the critiquing part of the group, he was very close mouthed, he closed his eyes and listened, he wrote a few things down.  Then when he talked he was very to the point.  There was no padding, or frilly stuff, just pure advice good or bad.   I heard some of the things the people who got the advice from him said later.  They had various opinions on his advice.  Some think his good some think he’s crazy. 

My feeling is if someone is in the business and is published and selling books they might know more about it than me, but then again each person that has been published has a different story.  One never knows whether the information could be handy or not. 

One thing that is always stated at the meetings from the experts is, this is a business.  The writers love the creativity of writing, but when the writing is done the business part of it is next.  That is where the group can be the most effective. 

Another meeting is coming up next week.  I can hardly wait to see everyone and tell them about my success with NaNoWriMo.  But also to hear what they have been up too.

The value of a good writing group is priceless.  If you have a hobby of any kind, get into a group for support, the rewards far outweigh the cost both in time and money.   Until next time.   

National Novel Writing Month: I’m a winner

 

What is National Novel Writing Month?  Every November Writers across the world participate in what is known as NaNoWriMo, where within one month each writer is to write a 50,000 manuscript.  To accomplish this task, the writer must write at least 1,667 words per day for 30 days.  The NaNoWriMo website is set up where the writers have their own page, a short synopsis of their manuscript, a chance to meet other writers and buddy up, and a slew of other capabilities to support the writer during the project.  This way each writer, as the month progresses can update their word count and keep track of their buddies online. 

What have I learned by participating?

First I learned the value of a program like this.  I think it is a marvelous way for other writers, a very solitary job, to connect with other writers and check on their progress and be encouraged. 

Second I learned the value of discipline and what it takes to be a writer.  It takes discipline to set your behind down and to place your fingers on the keyboard and to continue a story where you have no idea where it’s going to go.  It takes faith in your abilities to allow the process to come forth.  To give into the unknown and to watch as your fingers type, the story unfolds much to you as to the reader who reads it for the first time.   In sitting everyday for one month, I became so enthralled with how and which way the story was going to go that it kept my interest.  After the month is over and I have my manuscript my mind is continuing the story.  Filling out the details of each characters and will continue during the editing process. 

I have stated before, to be a writer is more than just putting words on a page.  It means to persevere even when you are tired, it means to develop a story from start to finish, and put your heart and soul in the project for that month.  It means to lovingly take a name and shape it into a character that the reader will come to know, care about and root for.  It means to draw the reader in and entertain them, to cause them to turn each page in anticipation of the next scene.  It means to convey a message of value, such as moral, good verses evil, ext…

When I first decided to participate I was unsure if I had the courage to start and finish a project.  The project I had in mind I had for quite some time.  I had written a manuscript, and while doing the back story for the world in which this manuscript is set in, I realize that two important characters within that story had their own story to tell.  So I wrote their story.   Plus in telling their story, I was steeped into their world with even greater intimacy.  This knowledge will allow me to do a better job at the editing part of the manuscript.  To delve deeper into the psyche of each character and to really make the story and all it intricacies well rounded.

In conclusion in participating has given me more than I ever expected.  It is a journey that I plan to continue.   I am a National Novel Writing Winner and I am proud. 

What is next for me and my story?  Lots and lots of editing. 

Did you participate?  If you did share you story with us and enjoy the moment.  You are a winner.  For all writers in the world, you are all winners.  Until next time. 

Updates on National Novel Writing Month.

I have been participating in NaNoWriMo this month.  What is NaNoWriMo.  Every year writers across the world participate in writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. 

I heard that this was possible but never thought it would be true in my life.   I figured why not give it a try.  We are at the half point of the month and to get to 50,000 the participants need to be at or over the 25,000 word count.  At the moment I am at 25,038 and will do more tonight.  I am right where I need to be. 

What am I learning about this experience?

First and foremost I am learning discipline.  Every day I write on my laptop.  My particular story has multiple points of view, so I ask my characters what are they doing and how they feel?  Every day I continue those threads and plot lines.  I get into their heads and feel what they are feeling.  Sometime I have no words for what they feel.  So I have to get to the root of it and try as best as I can to explain. 

Second: for every day that I write I’m gaining in confidence, and in my ability to be a writer and to tell a story.  Each night while sleeping something occurs to me about the story, so I begin that thought and thread the next day.  The story and characters are becoming more rounded.  

Third I am in contact with other participants through emails.   Some are doing well; some are coming up with excuses.  I’m staying the course and being the strong one.  Usually it’s the other way around.  I’m usually asking others to support me. 

Forth I am so determined to finish this story because it is interesting.   The first manuscript that I wrote had two characters, that were key to the plot, but not much is told about them.  When doing their back stories for that manuscript, I thought it would be fun to write their stories and the world they came from for this manuscript; it’s another realm by the way.  So the world I created is wide open and becoming more real to me, which may open up for more stories.

There are some things that need to be set up at the ending of this story, in order to leap to the next story.  I’m not sure how that will happen but I leave that to my subconscious.  With each paragraph, plot and twist the story blossoms.  I am very excited and wondrous at the process.   Will give update next week. 

If you are participating in National Novel Writing Month and wish to share your experience we would love to hear them.  What have you learned about yourself during the process?  How has it changed you?  Will you keep writing if you didn’t achieve your goal?  Share, laugh, cry, grow and bond with other women.   Until next time.   

Books Review: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Series of Books. By Stieg Larsson.

Here’s what has been written about all three books. 

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  608 pgs  

An international publishing sensation, Stieg Larsson’s Girl with the Dragon Tattoo combines murder mystery, family saga, love story, and financial intrigue into one satisfyingly complex and entertainingly atmospheric novel. Harriet Vanger, scion of one of Sweden’s wealthiest families, disappeared over forty years ago. All these years later, her aged uncle continues to seek the truth. He hires Mikael Blomkvist, a crusading journalist recently trapped by a libel conviction, to investigate. He is aided by the pierced and tattooed punk prodigy Lisbeth Salander. Together they tap into a vein of unfathomable iniquity and astonishing corruption.

The Girl who played with Fire. 832 pgs

Mikael Blomkvist, crusading journalist and publisher of the magazine Millennium, has decided to run a story that will expose an extensive sex trafficking operation between Eastern Europe and Sweden, implicating well-known and highly placed members of Swedish society, business, and government.But he has no idea just how explosive the story will be until, on the eve of publication, the two investigating reporters are murdered. And even more shocking for Blomkvist: the fingerprints found on the murder weapon belong to Lisbeth Salander—the troubled, wise-beyond-her-years genius hacker who came to his aid in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and who now becomes the focus and fierce heart of The Girl Who Played with Fire.As Blomkvist, alone in his belief in Salander’s innocence, plunges into an investigation of the slayings, Salander herself is drawn into a murderous hunt in which she is the prey, and which compels her to revisit her dark past in an effort to settle with it once and for all.

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest: 912 pgs

Lisbeth Salander—the heart of Larsson’s two previous novels—is under close supervision in the intensive care unit of a Swedish city hospital. She’s fighting for her life in more ways than one: when she’s well enough, she’ll stand trial for three murders. With the help of her friend, journalist Mikael Blomkvist, she will have to prove her innocence, and to identify the corrupt politicians who have allowed the vulnerable, like herself, to suffer abuse. And, on her own, she will plot her revenge—against the man who tried to kill her and the government institutions that very nearly destroyed her life.Once upon a time, she was a victim. Now Lisbeth Salander is ready to fight back.

After reading what the reviews say are you interested?  You should be.  I read all three books in two weeks.  Notice how many pages each book has.  It was well worth the time.  Once you read the first page you are pulled into a very interesting story that will force you to turn the page until wee hours of the night.  Once you put the books down the characters will stay with you long after.  Wow is all I can say. 

Don’t wait to pick up your copy today.   If you’ve read the books and wish to share,

We would love to have your comments.  Share, laugh, grow and bond with other women. 

Obesity Does a Double Whammy for Women.

Did you know that overweight women get paid less than over weight men?  I read an article about this subject and was appalled.  It is a documented fact.  Not just women over 50 but all overweight women don’t get paid as much as an overweight man.  (Link to the article will be at the end of the posting.)

Another double whammy for women over 50

Women my age are ostracized for not having the beautiful new bodies of a 20 year old.  Men my age go for the younger women because they are having a mid life crises and only younger women can make them feel alive again.    

There’s more:  I have walked past over weight men and they have snubbed their nose at me, even though they are far larger than I am.  Younger women look at me at as if to say, why don’t you exercise?  I exercise for one hour twice a week, and eat organically. 

I was slim until I hit menopause, then within one year 60 lbs pasted itself to my stomach area and became its own appendage.     Sit ups and exercise do nothing to the stomach area, only jiggle it around but it does not get rid of it.  The rest of my body is tone, my legs, arms even my buttock is toned. 

Now I read in the article, the whammy for women is not only the loss of male companionship but the loss of revenue.  How can we get to the root of a problem without the money to back it up?  To see a doctor if something is wrong or get medication.  What about eating special foods that help us such as Jenny Craig?  This is a terrible tragedy and a double standard that really makes me so mad I can hardly stand it. 

Last year I lost about 30 lbs.  It was wonderful, my clothes fit better and I started to get interest from men.  But I notice something strange.  The men who showed any interest were ones that didn’t have a job or car, or they worked as a short order cook and didn’t make enough money and I felt wanted me to take care of them. 

What a complete turn around from when I was growing up.   When I was younger I wanted to be rescued; now I feel the men want me to rescue them. 

I just read some of the comments and found various differences of opinions on the term curvy and obese.  One comment in particular stated that she was thin but her overweight secretary seems to find a reason not to work, due to a doctor appointment or a weight related reason.  I have worked at my job for six years and only took off one day.  The rest of the time I have work through sickness, snow, hardships and doctors appointments.  I work around my schedule because I know if I don’t work I don’t get paid for that day.  

I have never used my weight as an excuse not to work. 

Any way there is a lot to think about when it comes to this subject.  Each person has to decide what to do for their own lives.  My hope is that as I continue to lose weight and document my struggles, my experiences will help another to needs some understanding, guidance and caring.  It is worth losing the weight and being the best you can be.  It is worth the struggles each day.  It is worth it, because you are worth it.  

Share, laugh, love, grow and bond with other women.  Take care.  

Link to article here.  3 strikes against curvy women.